“We’re all aggregates, finding, recognizing, offering to others different strata of ourselves at different times in our live.”
– Pamela Petro
There is something interesting that happens when one stays in one place for a prolonged period of time, especially after one was used to a life more fluid and flexible. Like a pot plant, I always liked the idea that I could be moved wherever necessary without touching the actual soil where I found myself. In the UAE I felt at home, but I always knew and had to remind myself that it could only ever be temporary, which meant that I adjusted my sense of rootedness accordingly.
But for the last almost four years, the pot I was planted in, was left in one place on fertile soil, which meant that my roots discovered all those little holes in the bottom, silently penetrating the soil beneath to find nourishment and a sense of belonging. Even though the initial transition to the quinta was really, really hard, I have grown with my changing physical landscape, burrowing myself into the soil, and drawing on the groundedness that comes from being in a place where one feels a sense of belonging. It is on our quinta, and not necessarily Portugal as a country that I have found the place of belonging I have searched for my whole life.
When I dig my hands into the soil, breathe in the pure air, fill my ears with the changing seasonal symphony of sound, or allow my eyes to roam over a landscape that reminds me of Africa, I know that I have found my place in the world. So, when I had to extricate myself from the land and the companionship of the cats to visit my family in South Africa, I could not just hear, but feel the tearing of my roots. No longer used to being mobile, I not only felt anxious, but everything appeared to go wrong.
The cladders, when they finally arrived to start work on the workshop, had eight working days left before I left the quinta. Well-timed, I thought to myself, with a sigh of relief. They seemed to make great progress on the first day, but as they started cladding the second half of the roof which includes a four-metre overhang, they noticed a mistake. The transparent panels were not ordered for the whole 10.4 metre length, but only for the 7 metres of the actual building. Work screeched to an unexpected halt, while the supplier profusely apologised for the mistake he made, and frantically ordered new panels. I reminded myself that it was a small glitch with still enough time to just finish before I had to leave, as I was quite adamant that I didn’t want work to happen while I was away.
Despite good intentions and careful planning, life often has other plans. It kept snowballing out of my control when the factory made a mistake and only sent 2 of the 4 panels. So, by the time the team arrived back on the land, there was no longer the possibility of finishing the work on time.
My quinta sitter kindly agreed that work could continue in my absence, which did for two days after I left until more material had to be ordered for the finishing touches, after which their truck broke down, so, once more, work has halted with roughly two days’ work left.
While all the building stresses ebbed and flowed, I had to still take care of the usual seasonal chores which included what felt like an endless amount of strimming, and cutting off suckers from the base of the olive trees. The vegetable garden needed its usual attention, while I was also trying my best to clean up the outside space in general to make it visually more pleasing. Not only so that my quinta sitter wouldn’t feel like she was living in the middle of a building project, but for my own sanity too.
I have long ago made peace with the fact that I will be living for more years than I would like on a building site, but just because that is my reality, it doesn’t mean that it has to look like a dump. Beauty is perhaps the personal value I hold dearest to my heart, which means that I expend an enormous amount of extra energy to make sure that my immediate living environment is a pleasing one to me.
I also embarked on a seasonal ‘spring’ clean, which included washing the curtains and cupboards, and although I am prone to tidiness, I was shocked to find out just how quickly one ends up with drawers that are rather messy after a while.
And just to make extracting myself a bit more challenging, the one roller blind Michael adjusted during his previous visit decided to break. Luckily Lawrence was still around to help me fix it, as it isn’t a one-person task. He was finishing up backfilling behind the retaining wall where my new temporary horta is, with gravel, and finally a layer of soil and compost, which meant that the sprayers Michael installed for me during his last visit had to be fixed and adjusted after the work was done. It was a fiddly job which meant I got soaked in the process, but luckily for me it was a hot afternoon. It was important to me to make sure they worked the way they should, as I knew the brutal heat of summer would descend on the land in the time I was away.
A last ripping and tearing of my roots happened on the last day when I had to drive across the border to the supplier where we buy a lot of our building materials across the border in Spain to pay for the last bits that were ordered, and leave money for the cladding work. I also had to pack and do some last minute cleaning and tidying up, before I had to pick up the quinta sitter from the bus station a 50-minute drive away. Instead of a simple handover, I realised that the modem was broken when I tried to insert the new SIM card I bought earlier that day, which meant another stop at the Vodafone shop before Lawrence could finally drop me off at the hotel just as dusk was setting in.
I could finally start to unwind. At least that is what I thought, but a restless night with muddled dreams of Midnight & Lily left me bleary eyed the next morning, only to discover in a panic that the hotel messed up the time they booked my taxi for. The taxi driver, when he arrived, was a star, pulling out all the stops to deliver me in Formula One fashion to the train station with just enough time to calm my heartbeat and catch my breath before the train pulled in.
I was extremely grateful when I could do an early check-in at the hotel in Lisbon, even though it was only 11h30. The Melia hotel at the airport (I could see the terminal from my bedroom window) is geared towards travellers, and they’ve perfected the art of making one land or leave gently. I spent most of the afternoon chilling at the pool, making the most of the gentle summer weather that persisted during the last couple of days of frantic chores. As the afternoon lengthened, I could feel the last tensions slowly fading, as I was preparing myself for a very different season in South Africa, swapping summer for winter.
Special Moments of Joy or Visitors:
Despite the fact that the first bit of July was extremely busy, the cats and I still managed to indulge in what quickly became our favourite shared activity I started referring to as Fox-TV. A couple of foxes started making an appearance a couple of weeks ago. Sometimes only one, other times two, and once we spotted three. They, like us, prefer the witching hour when day hands over to night, or vice versa. The best part was watching how the cats reacted. Sometimes Midnight would mock attack, sometimes Lily would stalk, and often both would verbally defend their territory.
The foxes are not fazed by my presence, and rather cheeky. One morning one even ran off with one of my flip-flops. Luckily for me, he dropped it not too far away, as I’ve heard from my neighbour that they also steal things like gloves from the workers who are busy with a building project on his land.
Just as I was getting ready for a strimming session early one morning, I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye. As it was the usual time for a visit from one of the foxes, it took my brain a while to register that it wasn’t a fox, but a little wild boar piglet. I’m not sure who was more surprised, but at least I was not the one running off grunting and squealing. I quickly ran inside to grab my glasses, as I expected to spot the mother and siblings nearby, but there was no sound or movement anywhere. Just birdsong, as the first rays of the sun started to light up the land.
Notes:
# I harvested and dried Brussel sprout and chard seeds, as well as Origanum flowers, while the beetroot I sowed was ready to harvest, making for a couple of delicious beetroot salads. Although I’ve heard from a couple of people that their garlic harvest wasn’t great this year, I still managed to harvest 8 bulbs, even though a couple are teeny-tiny. Zucchinis in the garden is a stalwart, and kept me on my inventive toes to find interesting ways to use them. I even managed to eat a couple of chillies and a handful of cherry tomatoes before I left. It will hopefully bring joy to my quinta sitter, and I should catch the end of the season by the time I get back in August. The eggplants are usually very slow, and if all goes well there should also be tomatoes to preserve.
# Having grown up on a farm, I guess my love for early mornings is part of my DNA, which means that I find summers in Portugal particularly challenging. Not only does 15 hours of sunlight, plus dawn and dusk eat into my preference of 8 hours of sleep, but the hottest time of the day is often only at 7pm, which means that by the time I’ve managed to catch some of the coolness slowly descending on the land after sunset, and finally make it to bed, I am often left with only 5 or 6 hours of sleep, as I naturally tend to wake up around 5am. To me it is the best part of the day, as I love that slow transition from night to day, watching the stars and twinkling lights of our local town against the mountain fade away.
# The weather in South Africa is the polar opposite of what I left in Portugal, and although often still pleasant outside in the sun during winter, the houses are like fridges. It is lovely to see my family, though, and speak Afrikaans all the time, despite the fact that I miss Midnight & Lily, and the comforts of my own home.
Written by: Jolandi
I’ve been eager to hear that you got off as planned for your trip home. What a series of stresses leading up to it, though! (Sounds kind of familiar … ) I hope all is going well in both places – that your sitter is enjoying the quinta and the cats, and that you are continuing to enjoy family and “home.” The foxes are beautiful (you could frame one of those photos!), and as noted before, I can totally relate to the priority that beauty plays in your life and can see just from tiny glimpses that you are achieving that. Enjoy your time away and your return to your new roots as well!
Thanks, Lexie. Thank goodness all is going well on both sides, and the cats seem to behave and are happy. I usually fret and stress about Midnight as she isn’t overly keen on strangers or people in general, but my sitter sends me lovely videos of her talking to her, which definitely calms my worries, even when she doesn’t hang around for love the way Lily does. Those foxes are gorgeous, and I was really lucky to get a couple of really good shots of them. It is lovely to spend time with my family. – Jolandi
So lovely to catch up with your achievements. We do miss our yoga classes with you!! Elaine and Pip xx
How lovely to hear from you, Elaine. I hope you and Pip are well. Those classes were so lovely to teach. Big hug. – Jolandi
“I have found the place of belonging I have searched for my whole life.” This made me so happy to read it brought tears to my eyes. I am deeply glad that you have found a home, Jolandi. <3 How stressful it must have been for you to give up the idea that the work would not be done before you left, and then additionally, to receive notice of additional delays after you were already gone. Your description of finding the drawers untidy had me laughing. I remember in the series of Anne of Green Gables books, how the housekeeper insisted on tidying the attic when guests were expected, and Anne internally rolling her eyes, but loving the housekeeper for being herself. Beauty is also very important to me, and I would be outside strimming, and dusting the light fixtures in preparation for a house sitter.
Oh my heavens, I cannot believe how many glitches there were in your plans!! What constant hiccups you had to absorb and process. You are truly a rock star. For me, the only peace that begins is once I have left home completely, with no option of turning back. So if there's anything else I forgot, or anything else that crops up, it's too late: nothing I can do. That idea: there's nothing I can do about it, it's like magic to me. And only then can I begin to have the pure joy of travel. 🙂
You are the only one of my friends who watches Fox TV!! ha haha!! What a delight to have the beautiful foxes, and even the boar piglet as well. I am totally entertained when my cat(s) stalk something they have no business stalking – like once, my kitty pounced on a cow! Hilarious. And did you catch Lily midair in an acrobatic pounce? Wonderful! I am so glad you are home, and pronouncing Afrikaans all the time. Big, big love to you all.
Your responses are always a delight to read, Crystal. That your kitty pounced on a cow made me laugh out loud. I’ve never even heard of such a thing. I only realized that I caught Lily in mid-air when I looked at the pictures afterwards. Such a stroke of luck! I’m not sure what she was trying to catch, but she is a very keen butterfly catcher.
I am exactly like you in that I only really start to relax once I can no longer turn back, which means it is often only when I sit on the aeroplane. And then one simply has to trust that all the things one put in place will run smoothly. Thank goodness the sitter is delightful and the cats seem happy. Lily is easy to please, as she thinks everyone will love and adore her, but I often worry about Midnight who is not overly keen on people, and really is ‘my’ cat, but I regularly get videos of her talking to the sitter, even though she seems to keep to herself most of the time.
Big hug to you. – Jolandi
Hope you enjoy your time in South Africa.
I am, thanks, Peggy. Being where I grew up evokes many memories. – Jolandi
I am so glad you got away at last, despite fate trying to trip you up! I must apologise for not making any comment last month. I thought I had as I had read your post and had thought about what I wanted to say but….
I loved reading about your foxes! When I lived in south London in the early 80’s we had foxes who regularly came into the garden which we shared with the other people who had apartments in our house. I loved the garden and sometimes the foxes would join me as I worked. One evening I was aware of a fox cub approaching me from behind so I stayed still. Next moment he had stolen my gardening glove and ran off with it! It does seem to be something foxes like to do.
Enjoy the rest of your stay in South Africa <3
Not to worry about always commenting, Clare. I can relate.
Your own memory of the foxes makes me smile. I love how their behaviour is similar no matter where they are. They certainly are cheeky and sneaky.
I hope you are having a good summer. – Jolandi
So glad to hear you are getting to enjoy South Africa. I understand the craziness before travel, it always seems to be the case. But it sounds like you were able to get it all done and now you can enjoy family knowing the cats are happy and all is well at home.
Terri
Indeed, Terri. It’s amazing how, despite the craziness, things also just seem to fall into place at the end. – Jolandi
Such a poetic opening to take us in to so much pre-departure tension. For one horrible moment, I thought you were going to say that things went wrong on return to South Africa. As if you found you no longer belonged there!
Anyway all is well except the cold weather, and if it is anything like ours, that is cold indeed. At least for what we are accustomed to. And I’m glad the sitter is working out – that must be a load off your mind.
Enjoy your time with friends and family 🙂
It is a wonderful relief that the sitter is working out, Gwen. I have some serious trust issues, so for me to leave what is important and precious in the care of a stranger is quite something. I do miss the quiet and company of my cats, despite having a lovely time with my family. – Jolandi
I can relate to your frustration when things take longer than what they should. I love being efficient, so when I see people work very inefficiently I can become impatient. But as I get older, I’m also better at calming myself when such thing happens. I love your approach on keeping your quinta beautiful despite the construction work. That should apply to cities as well — when one corner looks like a mess due to ongoing upgrades to existing facilities, it doesn’t mean its immediate vicinity should look the same way. Early mornings are indeed the best time of the day. It’s quiet, it’s cooler, and it’s good for having some deep thoughts, at least for me. Enjoy your time in South Africa, Jolandi!
Thank you, Bama. I can relate to everything you’ve said. It’s interesting for me just how much I miss the quinta and the quiet, despite the fact that my family lives on a farm and in small towns. – Jolandi
Hi Jolandi
Long time since we met!
I do follow your life story and love your way to write. Feel we have so many things in common. Personality wise.
Your picture of how your roots have grown deeper and deeper at your quinta. Your need for beauty. Love for growing, to live with nature. Construct homes. Happy to care for your environment.
I am still between Subira in Lamu and Lummerlandet, our summer place in Sweden. Our two now middle aged sons and grandchildren are here in Sweden.
We are here now. So beautiful in the forest by the lake close to the pretty village of Dala-Floda, where we had our business for 30 years until 2008. Then sold it to live in Subira in Lamu,Kenya.
Soon we fly back to Kenya. Very tough to pull myself out of here. Same thing every time. Same leaving Lamu. Since 2019 I am so fascinated by the principles of permaculture ! The work we have done at our shamba (farm) is really so rewarding already. Are you familiar with that way to develop your land?
Yes you see we still have our Subira running plus the 3 acres farm. Very tough to leave ! Subira is not easy to sell! You helped you remember!
Much love to you🧡💚🧡wish you nice days in SA!
Christina
Paul sends his love Hope this is not too long!
My dearest Christina. How lovely to receive all this news from you. I’ve recently been thinking of you and Paul, wondering how you are and if you still have your properties in Lamu. I can imagine how difficult it must be for you to pull out your roots there. A pity that you are struggling to sell Subira, as it is such an amazing place.
I can only imagine how beautiful your shamba must be these days, as I could sense how special it is all those years ago when I had the privilege to see it. Yes, permaculture has many wonderful principles. Our approach on the quinta is very much a hodgepodge of ideas that include permaculture and regenerative principles. For me it is both fun and a challenge to learn how to care for the land, while also developing it to nourish us.
I hope you had a nourishing summer in Sweden, and that you will have a safe journey back to Lamu. You really are dividing your life between two very different geographical and cultural extremes, which must be interesting, but also take time to settle back into. Michael and I always fondly remember you and Paul and our time in Lamu, and often wish to go back, but time and money at this point in our lives simply do not allow for that. At least we have our memories. Know that we always wish you and Paul just the best. Big hug. – Jolandi