“Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead.”
– Nelson Mandela
I woke up yesterday morning with a message from Michael sharing his disappointment at having to cancel his trip to South Africa to visit his parents, daughter and granddaughter, less than twenty-four hours after he booked his flights. The discovery of a new variant by South African virologists brought a swift end to the two months South Africa was open to residents and citizens in the UAE. With pressing work obligations, Michael was unable to visit before now, and I feel his pain and disappointment as acutely as if it were my own. It has been two years since we’ve been to South Africa, and recent health scares from both our fathers reminded us that our parents are not getting younger.
To settle my thoughts and emotions I headed out into the morning chill to spread the recently made biochar*, and some horse manure on my first, almost ready, compost heap. I find that in moments of frustration, disappointment and emotional upheaval, physical chores help me from falling down an abyss of fear and dark thoughts. So much of life, despite our best laid plans and intentions, is out of our control. Despite knowing that it is not what happens to us, but our reaction to it that is important, I still find myself, every time an obstacle crosses my path, in a web of angst from which I must disentangle myself, before I can find either acceptance or hatch a plan of action.
Working outside where my thoughts have more space, they inevitably revisited an unnerving experience from earlier in the week. When I received an email on the 11th of October informing me that our habitation license has finally been received by the architects, we were elated. After almost four years of dealing with paperwork, building work, and changing regulations, our house has been recognized as a legal building in which we could live. A comment I, by chance, spotted on a Facebook group, made me wonder if there was a separate process we had to follow to change the paperwork relating to the land. I asked around, and on Monday evening I received a response from the Architect to say, yes, there is. And according to him we had two months in which a solicitor, on our behalf, had to initiate the process. I could feel my whole body go into shock. The stamp on the official documents read 28 September, which meant we had four working days left. I contacted a solicitor in the area, and bless her soul, she made time in her busy schedule to see me on Wednesday morning. We went together to file the paperwork, but the lawyers dealing with it, wasn’t in. I left everything with her, signed some forms, and left in the faith that the process won’t take too long. But this being Portugal amidst the chaos of a pandemic, anything is possible.
I reminded myself, once a fragile sense of calm was restored in my soul that these are all milestones, even when they feel like stumbling blocks, on our journey to fulfill our dream of living here permanently. All dreams have a cost, after all, and this is simply part of ours. The bureaucracy and various processes that feed into it, make me feel I’m on a perpetual scavenger hunt, but I am also learning not to hesitate to ask for clues or help.
We have come a long way since the land was transferred into our names four years ago, and I marvel at this journey we’ve yoked our lives to, and the gamut of emotions and experiences we’ve travelled through to just get to where we are today. And yes, in case you want to ask, it was and still is, worth it.
Now that I’ve experienced the rhythms of the seasons as they structure a year on the quinta, I’ve been doing some reflection on why I blog and where I want to go from here. Creating this blog was always intended to serve as a visual diary of our journey, first and foremost for ourselves, and then for family and friends who wanted to follow along. What we found though, was a lovely community of strangers who became friends, and whose encouraging words mean so much to us. Deep inside, I hope that along the way, it can also serve as inspiration for others to follow their own dreams. No matter their shape and form.
As the year is winding down, I am looking both back and ahead to 2022. With my residence visa still floating somewhere in the system, I must accept that I cannot go anywhere, and the bits of paperwork that can only be resolved once I have that in my hand, can’t be sorted out until then. While I wait, I need to focus on how I want to structure my life here on the land so that it can include all those things that bring joy and fulfillment.
Portuguese Words:
desapontamento – disappointment
pais – parents
pai – father
mãe – mother
filha – daughter
neta – granddaughter
genro – son-in-law
Notes:
* I promise to finally write a post on the process of making biochar, and post it next week.
Written by: Jolandi
The pandemic has turned everyone’s lives upside down. I am so sorry Michael had to cancel his plans. Such a disappointment and frustrating at the same time. I so enjoy following along with your journey and so admire you for taking the leap of faith and following your dream. You truly are an inspiration. I can only imagine the red tape, papers and waiting for your life in Portugal to be finally settled. When it gets to be too much, your land settles your fear and worry. What a peaceful and serene place to be.
Take care,
Terri
It has indeed, Terri. We are all affected in so many different ways.
Thank you for your thoughtful words. I appreciate them so much. And you are so right in how this beautiful piece of land bring me both joy and peace amidst the many challenges. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. – Jolandi
What a disappointment, for both of you. The new Covid variant is scary, though with the vaccine and booster it may not be as deadly as the first version that hit in 2020. (But as I type those words, I think, ‘But who wants to catch “the mild form” and bring it home to your friends and family?) I’m scheduled to fly to the New York area in December to see family, but I’m also bracing for the possibility that my flight will be cancelled if the Covid infection rate soars next month. Because it was so hard hit by Covid at the beginning of the pandemic, New York is much more strict about locking down its airports. I will be disappointed if this happens, but I would prefer to spend Christmas at home by myself than spread the virus to my adult children and young grandchildren (all vaccinated but not all boostered yet)—or to friends here when I got back.
Reading about your many challenges with the Portuguese bureaucracy and title laws, I wonder how my grandparents managed it when they moved from Japan to the US. They couldn’t speak English when they first arrived; there were laws in place forbidding them from buying and owning land (they rented and sharecropped until the owner deeded them the land, largely because the soil there was thought to be worthless for growing); and the climate and local customs were so different from where they were born. They managed it, somehow; and now their grandchildren and great-grandchildren call this place home, even if none of us farm that original piece of land they put all of their savings and sweat into. I realize this is cold comfort to you in your present moment: but once you get through all this grief, it will be another part of your history, something you might skip while telling it to a curious youngster. (“Oh, I won’t bore you with that, it’s too ridiculous to think about.”) In the meantime, I wish you success in getting over these bumps in the road. Hopefully the bureaucratic gods will be in a good mood when they process your paperwork!
Fingers crossed you will be able to see your family for Christmas, Hangaku, but I also completely understand that you would be okay to rather spend it alone than to spread the virus to precious loved ones. In the UAE they’ve asked people to refrain from flying home for Christmas, and I think many countries are bracing themselves for the inevitable when families get together over the holiday period. Michael is flying in tomorrow for a quick visit in case restrictions come into effect over the holiday period.
I wonder the same thing about your grandparents. At least for (and perhaps it was for them) the end goal justifies the means, and every set of papers bring us closer to where we see ourselves and want to be. Fingers crossed those bureaucratic gods are in a good mood when they process our paperwork. 😇 One can only hope! – Jolandi
I’m not surprised that you felt ‘desapontamento’, but glad to know you feel it’s still all worth it. Sorry about Michael’s travel plans evaporating. I thought of you when the new variant was announced. Stay well, stay warm.
Thanks, Peggy.
One thing I’m very grateful for this year is that the underfloor heating is working well, in sharp contrast with the same time last year. Always something to be grateful for!
Hope life is treating you well on the other side of the world, and you are enjoying lovely summer weather. – Jolandi
I am so sorry you have had such a difficult week, Jolandi. What a disappointment for Michael, too!
I hope you can get the paperwork relating to the land changed on time; at least you have found a solicitor who was willing to help you. You must now trust her to get everything done in time and try to keep yourself as calm as possible. Good luck! <3
I have also found that physical work helps when I am anxious and it is amazing how quickly I can get things done when I am angry! 😀
Always good to utilize our emotions to get physical chores done, Clare. I had a good giggle at the image. 😆
I’ve been busy outside quite a bit this week – more because of lovely weather than upside-down emotions, I must confess. Like you say, all I can do now is stay calm and trust that the solicitor will effectively deal with the paperwork. It is futile to think I have any control over more than that. – Jolandi
Sorry to hear about the new challenges for you and Michael, Jolandi. I hope you will be able to clear all hurdles, and until then, continue to enjoy your beautiful new home and surroundings.
Best wishes,
Tanja
Thank you, Tanja. I guess we all have a turn at disappoitment, especially these days when so much of what is happening around us is completely out of our control, no matter how carefully we prepare or plan. – Jolandi
Jolandi such poignant writings again from you, returning to nature/earth creating and earthing is for sure medicine for the body and soul . Gratitude that you have carved your way to be able to feed of earths energy for food and consolation.
Its certainly been interesting times watching and being buffered around but with time all will slowly be revealed. You already have autonomy over your own life and more and more of humanity will be realising the controlled programming that we are apart of.
Love reading your blog and so true in so many ways we are more connected than ever yet more segregated too. You are living your dream and nowhere is it written that dreams are not challenging but the rewards are completely enriching. love to you and Michael and your furr babies xx
That is so true, Nanette. All dreams, and all of life have their own challenges.
Thank you for your kind words, as always. I mostly have a good grip on my life, although Michael will tell you that I can dissolve into a terrible mess at times. 😂
Big hug to you. 🖤
Covid is certainly still playing emotional havoc with our lives and I feel for Michael and the need to see family, such a disappointment. Hopefully this will improve. As for Portuguese or Spanish paperwork – it takes the time it takes but think the key is to be present and keep showing up. We still do not have our finished reformed building work in our hands yet. Almost/ casi seems it is finally with the secretary of our local town hall. As for residencia I think in Portugal everyone is lost in the system at the moment. Good luck and you seem to have what it takes to mentally deal with the thorny side of our dreams. Look forward to your biochar post. Think wordpress playing me up with following and receiving posts. Georgina at navasolanature in the Sierra Aracena
Yes, Covid is really playing havoc with all our lives, Georgina, and I suspect it will be with us for much longer than we hope or wish.
You are quite right that everyone at the moment is lost in the system regarding residency in Portugal. And the longer it takes, the more of a backlog is building up. I have an aunt in Australia who told me recently her residence permit took 18 months to process.
Fingers crossed you get your paperwork finalized too. Like you say, all we can do is show up and eventually everything will get sorted. – Jolandi
I’m sorry to read of your two new disappointing developments. I especially feel bad for Michael as not even an ambitious and successful lawyer can solve his problem right now. 🙁 Hope your legal and paperwork woes are sorted out quickly and that the holidays bring some relaxation in some form!
Thanks, Lex! I trust the paperwork will soon be sorted, but either way, I am definitely planning to engage in some festive relaxation and joy. I’ve strung up lots of little lights around the house to banish all the dark thoughts that come with early nightfall mixed with bureaucracy. 😆 – Jolandi
I’m so sorry Michael had to cancel his trip to South Africa, and you had to deal with another pressing issue. What you said about the bureaucracy in Portugal sounds just like in Indonesia. There’s no other way than to follow whichever direction we have to go, and when everything is sorted out, we will feel nothing but a huge sense of relief. I hope the rest of 2021 will treat you well, Jolandi.
Thank you, Bama. Bureaucratic procedures keep people in jobs, I guess. But clearly you understand the amount of confusion and frustration it entails. Like you point out, the only way through is to move forward. 😇 Michael swopped his SA trip for one to come see me. Yay! – Jolandi
I can relate to Michael’s disappointment as I also have a big one when the pandemic hits the world. We cannot go and visit two of the most beloved countries and with so many obligations to fulfill over there I cannot do anything about it and in the end, losing some money every month I don’t go. Life now is unpredictable and we just have to go with the flow. Cannot really plan ahead or else be prepared if it doesn’t go to plan. At least both of you are safe and happy there in Portugal. I hope to see you again someday. Wish!
Regards,
Evelyn
I’m sure you can relate, Evelyn. This has been tough for so many people, and it doesn’t look like things will return to normal (whatever that looks like these days) anytime soon. Take good care of yourself, and good luck with your version of this challenging time. Big hug. – Jolandi
You are, a major inspiration to many of us. I can feel his disappointment as well. I wish you many more ups and downs and many happy moments.
Thank you, Manja. Big hug from Portugal. I hope there isn’t too many restrictions in Italy at the moment, and you can still enjoy going on excursions and walks. – Jolandi
Hello Jolandi,
I am so sorry to hear that Michael had to cancel his plans, and how the pandemic continues to affect so many across the world. My heart skipped a few beats when you described more details of the process, and I continue to send positive vibes and sincere wishes that all milestones will be cleared in natural time.
While nowhere near as difficult (and exciting) as what you and Michael are dealing with, my husband and I continue to do our best to overcome our own small “challenges” to head closer to our dreams.
In the meantime, please take good care and our best to you both. I just purchased your e-book and look forward to reading it.
Hi Takami. Sorry for the late reply. Michael came for a quick visit, so I’ve ignored this blog for a bit. Thank you for your support in purchasing my e-book. Your continued encouragement means so much to me.
Life is definitely more of a challenge for all of us these days, and I’m so happy to hear that you and your husband, despite your own challenges are also moving closer to your dreams. Dreams can act as a valuable compass, when life becomes messy. Wishing you and your husband many joys in the process of realizing your dreams. Big hug. – Jolandi
I can feel your anxiety, Jolandi. What a shame that the new variant has messed up travel plans for Michael…just when we thought things were looking brighter. I hope your legal stuff gets sorted out in time. In the meantime, continue with your physical chores/activities. For me too, vigorous activity (particularly outside in nature) is the best medicine.
Thank you, Caroline. I guess the legal stuff will take as long as it will take, regardless of my emotional up and down relationship with it. I’m just grateful that we have professional people helping us along the way – that at least helps a lot with settling the occasional bit of emotional turmoil that flares up. Thank goodness for the never ending amount of chores on the quinta. It is a saving grace. I hope you are well, and are enjoying some lovely winter walks. – Jolandi