“Saudade is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present.”
– Aubrey Bell from his book In Portugal
According to Wikipedia saudade “is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for something or someone that one cares for and/or loves. Moreover, it often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never be had again. It is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places, or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, and well-being, which now trigger the senses and make one experience the pain of separation from those joyous sensations. However it acknowledges that to long for the past would detract from the excitement you feel towards the future. Saudade describes a feeling both happy and sad, and might be most closely related to the English expression ‘bitter sweet’.“
Saudade is a word said to be rooted in the Portuguese culture and soul. One, many argue, defies translation and even definition. It is a noun, not a verb, and as such a bit slippery finding a good English equivalent.
I believe that we all have our own unique experiences with the notion of saudade. For me certainly, it is a feeling I most stongly associate with when I was growing up, and as a young adult, when I often longed for something that was lacking in my life and could never quite define. During those years it was an unwelcome visitor, which made me feel ill at ease with my life.
Through the years I’ve learned to embrace this longing, and by doing so, weakened the unease and discontent it often burdened me with in the past. In its place there now is a bitter-sweet longing for moments, places, and people, which interestingly enough is often triggered during the most peaceful and perfect moments here on the quinta.
I’ve read somewhere that Portugal is full of poets and dreamers, so it makes perfect sense that I find myself in the birthplace of saudade.
My current state of mind is perhaps because I find myself in that off-kilter place between a lovely two week visit with my sister and niece, and planning for Michael’s next visit. Today is the perfect late summer’s day – mild temperature, a blue sky flecked with the occasional cloud, a gentle breeze, and birdsong. It calls for a toast to saudade – a trip down memory lane. Remembering all the people and places and experiences which shaped my life and who I am today.
Notes:
# On 30 January, in Brazil, the day of Saudade is celebrated each year.
# Read the Wikipedia Article on Saudade if you are interested in the concept, history, and similar words to describe the state/feeling in other languages or cultures.
# Read Aubrey Bell’s book In Portugal (1912) here.
# If you love street art, visit this website to find some near you or when you travel.
Portuguese Words:
Here are the lyrics for a beautiful song by Pedro Abrunhosa & Carolina Deslandes, Tempestade, which is a good example of saudade in music.
* Remember to click on the embedded link to listen to the song!
Não estamos sós na tempestade Ainda há luz neste mar alto Ainda há anjos de verdade Voam sozinhos no asfalto Semeiam sonhos pelas trevas Trazem histórias de saudade, meu amor Não estamos sós na tempestade Meu pai, não vás da nossa mesa Não me ensinaste tudo ainda Esperarei de luz acesa Conta-me histórias de Coimbra Foste montanha a vida inteira Como a distância me incendeia, meu pai Não vás tão cedo desta mesa Quando eu voltar, abraça-me por dentro Aperta-me de tempo, é tão tarde o amor, é tão tarde O primeiro dia há de ser mais que primeiro Vem salvar-me por inteiro, no futuro ninguém quer só metade Meu amor Não estamos sós na tempestade Não estamos sós nesta tormenta Ainda há festa na varanda Uma canção que a noite inventa Chega das vozes de outra banda Alguém que toca uma guitarra Há quem se agarre enquanto dança Meu amor Vamos estar juntos na bonança Não estamos sós nesta saudade A rua chora no mesmo aperto Há andorinhas na cidade São beijos teus no céu aberto Quero ver-te ao fim da tarde Mas já não tarda a liberdade Meu amor Não estamos sós na tempestade Quando eu voltar, abraça-me por dentro Aperta-me de tempo, é tão tarde o amor É tão tarde O primeiro dia há de ser mais que primeiro Vem salvar-me por inteiro Do futuro ninguém quer só metade Meu amor Não estamos sós na tempestade Meu amor Não estamos sós na tempestade | We are not alone in the storm There’s still light on this high sea There are still real angels Fly alone on asphalt Sow dreams through darkness Bring stories of longing, my love We are not alone in the storm My father, don’t go from our table You haven’t taught me everything yet I’ll wait with the light on Tell me stories from Coimbra You’ve been mountain all your life How the distance burns me, my father Don’t leave this table too soon When I come back, hold me inside Squeeze me in time, it’s so late love, it’s so late The first day must be more than the first Come save me entirely, in the future nobody wants only half My love We are not alone in the storm We are not alone in this storm There’s still a party on the porch A song that the night invents Enough of the voices of another band Someone who plays a guitar There are those who cling while dancing My love Let’s be together in the calm We are not alone in this longing The street cries in the same grip There are swallows in the city It’s your kisses in the open sky I want to see you at the end of the afternoon But freedom doesn’t take long My love We are not alone in the storm When I come back, hold me inside Squeeze me time, it’s so late love It’s so late The first day must be more than the first Come save me entirely From the future nobody wants only half My love We are not alone in the storm My love We are not alone in the storm |
Street art in Peru Viseu
Written by: Jolandi
Saudades… from my stay in Portugal so many years ago.
Happy times indeed.
❤
We are not alone in the storm… such important confirmation… through all the “happy and sad” and “bitter sweet” – the comfort and power of “we are not alone in the storm” is beyond comforting… it allows and encourages us to take the next step… with confidence that all is well and is unfolding as it should… thank you, Jolandi… this is all perfect…
We are indeed not alone in the storm, Tom. And thank you for your beautiful words of confirmation. – Jolandi
It is good to know that there is a word for that bitter-sweet feeling that certain memories conjure up. Often welcome but sometimes unwelcome, these feelings and memories bring such depth to our lives and certainly make me sure that we possess a soul. Such intensity of emotion brought about by a memory, sometimes triggered by a smell or a colour or a sound.
I am pleased you enjoyed the company of your sister and niece and that you have Michael’s visit to look forward to.
I love Fado music – such emotion and feeling! If I remember correctly, the 1979 BBC adaptation of ‘Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy’ by John le Carre had a scene or two set in Portugal with Amalia Rodrigues singing Fado in a bar.
Love and best wishes,
Clare x
I love how beautifully you capture this feeling of saudade in your words, Clare. – Jolandi
I love the murals! Are they from Lisbon, or another town that you’ve visited? One thing I miss about traveling is being able to stroll through a town and look at its art and street culture: people eating and drinking at outdoor cafes, buskers making music of all sorts, neighborhood residents getting a breath of fresh air at a local park, cats and other animals relaxing on patios and stoops.
Saudade reminds me of melancholy, a sort of acceptance that life is filled with loss, and yet, we all persevere. I’m struggling with that as the area where I live seems to be struggling to keep its head up: drought, wildfires and the ensuing smoke, and Covid, which refuses to go away. I hope for better times, but at the moment it feels like the end of the world. Maybe saudade is what we need, plus some good Portuguese wine. 🙂
Those murals are from various small towns/cities we visited while my sister and niece were here, Hangaku: Covilha, Fundao, Peru Viseu, Capinha. I love how one finds street art in the most unexpected places. Lisbon has its share of wonderful street art too, of course. There is so much this pandemic has curtailed, and I can only imagine the extra challenges you are currently facing. Here on the quinta I often forget that there is a pandemic. I am very appreciative of where I am at the moment, as I definitely struggled at the beginning of the pandemic living in an apartment in Abu Dhabi. Fingers crossed better days will arive for you soon. Big hug. – Jolandi
I hadn’t heard of saudade before. Thank you for the introduction and the haunting song lyrics.
I’m so glad I could make you aware of this concept, Peggy. I went through some old travel photographs the other day, and had a distinct sensation of saudade, when I stumbled across some pictures we took when I met you and John in Dubai. Such a pleasant memory. – Jolandi
It’s interesting how some feelings/state of beings are captured in words and phrases in certain languages that don’t translate easily into our own. I get that sometimes with German and English. Beautiful post, Jolandi. The street art is stunning.
Thank you, Caroline. I love expressive words, and some languages have words that capture states of being so much better than others. Especially when they are difficult to define in the first place, and words often fall short. – Jolandi
I hope your pensive phase will hold more sweet than bitter memories for you, Jolandi.
Thank you, Tanja. Yes, I would say they are more sweet than bitter, and I must say that I quite like the feeling in short bursts. – Jolandi
I know it’s not as simple as plain old nostalgia, but that’s always how I think of it in my mind. Unfortunately, I suffer from (yet am still oddly grateful for) both!
I guess that is part of the yin and yang of life, Lexie, and it is definitely a bonus if one can be grateful for this wonderful mix of emotion that is such an integral part of being human. So often what we feel is difficult to express and put in words, and I love finding words that are trying to do just that. – Jolandi
I think I first learned about the concept of saudade in Goa, India. The owner of the hotel we stayed in was born and raised when this corner of India was still controlled by the Portuguese. He used the word saudade to recount the good old days before Goa was incorporated into the modern nation of India as we now know.
I love the story about how you learned about the concept of saudade, Bama. It is incredible to think how this small country has impacted on the world through what they like to refer to as The Age of Discoveries, while those places which were discovered may not necessarily view it in the same light. Could you sense that it used to be under Portuguese rule or has time erased that, apart from the remark by the owner of the hotel you stayed in? – Jolandi
You can still see the Portuguese influence in many aspects of life in Goa: from architecture to local cuisine. However, the hotel owner said that while he can still speak Portuguese, it’s not the case with the young generation.
This is so interesting, Bama. If I ever find myself in that part of the world again, I wouldn’t mind passing through Goa. Especially now that there is a link for me through its connection with Portugal. I guess for the young people there is no real reason to learn Portuguese any longer. – Jolandi
Beautiful street art, especially like the last one with the girl flying and grandma in the bathtub. Hope you are well, Jolandi! xo
I am, thanks, Lani. I love that piece of street art too. Street art in general brings me a lot of joy. – Jolandi
Beautiful music and words and images and sentiment. I thought I was a bit weird for feeling it when a teen. I hope you are having a lovely time.
I love all these ways we connect with others, especially when we realise we are not alone in feeling certain things, Manja. – Jolandi