“It is the silence between the notes that makes the music; it is the spaces between the bars that cages the tiger.”
– Zen saying
I lift the mug to my lips, inhaling as I do. The smell of coffee sends signals of joy to my brain long before the caffeine has a chance to enter my blood stream, clear the fog of sleep, and energise my limbs. I love being awake at the time of the day, when night surrenders, sometimes like a soft sigh, other times like a dramatic tantrum, to the light.
These precious in-between moments hold so much possibility. For me, it sets the tone of my day. I like to pause here, have a cup of coffee, and allow my thoughts and emotions to gently rise to the surface.
I don’t wake up cheerful with a bounce in my step, despite siding with the larks, and not the night owls. I need to ease into my skin, and therefor love being alone during those first tentative moments of a new day. Years ago I used to describe waking up as a moment of disappointment. There was an uncomfortableness about facing a new day that I first had to come to terms with, before I could face or find joy in the fact that I was alive. Over time that feeling has changed, but the habit was born and reinforced.
A regular yoga practice has taught me to not only be aware of in-between moments, but to also embrace and cherish them. So much of how I experience life is bound up in these moments. And just like meditation is about lengthening the pauses between thoughts, so is the quality of my life determined by embracing and lengthening the pauses between tasks.
I am acutely aware that these in-between moments can just as easily become the bars that imprison me if my thoughts gallop into wild and awful scenarios, or create the delightful music of life – sometimes stormy and dramatic, sometimes quiet, sometimes joyful, but always imbued with beauty.
It is in the moments when I become aware of the music that I feel gratitude more acutely than any other time, and also realise that I need solitude and silence to recharge; to be comfortable with my life; to be kinder towards others.
The best in-between moments of my day are always to be found at sunrise and sunset, but the time of the year determines how I spend them. Currently you will find me in the garden – often joined by both Midnight and Lily. It is a space all of us find peace and joy in.
Portuguese Words:
nascer do sol – sunrise
pôr do sol – sunset
vida – life
paz – peace
alegria – joy
dormir – sleep
café – coffee
Written by: Jolandi
Beautifully written, Jolandi.
Thank you, Kathy. I hope you and your family are well. Life is still so upside-down. I hope you can find moments of respite, and joy, and peace amidst it all. – Jolandi
Silence and solitude for recharging! Yes, I need both of those to recharge myself, too but they are very hard to come by these days. I can also see the usefulness of pauses between tasks though again, it is not always possible for me to stop and consider at the end of a job before plunging into the next. As you say, sometimes those pauses can be filled with fear or foreboding and reluctance so to rush into an unwelcome chore is sometimes the best policy!
That is a lovely shot of coriander! I have never grown it and the sight of those wonderful seeds make me want to try it.
Take care, dear Jolandi! <3
You know, I quite agree with you Clare – it is much better not to pause and think too much about those tasks that bring no joy, but just has to be done. So much of life consists of those. I hope your walks with Elinor at least bring a bit of respite and the ability to recharge a bit.
I love coriander. Although I bought the slow bolt variety, it still bolted quicker than I thought it would, so after initially using the leaves, I then started using the flowers, which was so pretty every time I sprinkled them over a curry. I then found a recipe to pickle the green seeds, which I just did, so it will be interesting to see what that tastes like. I will also dry some, as I love Indian food. Coriander really is extremely versatile and such an easy plant to grow. You should definitely try it. My favourite part is definitely those delicate white flowers. – Jolandi
Beautifully written and crafted. And how they resonate with me as I try to be HERE in-between this life and the next one I’ll be going to soon. Thanks for the reminder!
Ah, thanks, Lani. Good luck with this big transition. I find transitions emotionally draining (if not physically too), so I hope you can some in-between moments to breathe and recentre. There must be a million things rushing through your head at the moment. And I don’t even want to think what your to-do list must look like. Good luck. Sending you good vibes for the move. – Jolandi
Silence and meditation, what a perfect way to start the day. Hope all is well and the yard and garden are blossoming.
Indeed, Terri. Yes, the garden is lovely and is bringing me much joy. I’m currently playing catch up with strimming the land, but that should be done in about a week or two. – Jolandi
Just reading this put me at peace. I loved so many of your phrases; the joy of coffee infusing you before the caffeine gets to work, “when night surrenders,” and the fact that you are seeking the feeling of gratitude. Your focus on in-between moments reminds me of the old belief that in-between places and times are when the doors between our world and the world of fae open up. At dawn and at dusk you must be especially careful that you don’t accidentally step into faerieworld and get trapped there.
It makes me so happy to hear that, Crystal.
I’ve always loved this idea of a thinning of worlds. In Islamic tradition it is also at dawn and dusk that one must be especially vigilant and careful of the djinn. These times of the day, I guess have always captured the imagination of people. They have always been my favourite – sometimes filling me with peace, but often also with longing. – Jolandi
I am delighted to hear that the idea of thinning boundaries between worlds is also in Islamic tradition. I like the connection between us and people from thousands of years ago who were also fascinated with these times of day.
Beautiful. I wish you all the strength that such calm moments bring.
Thank you, Manja. I definitely also need these moments to physically recharge, as although my mind and spirit want to work all day, my body objects. – Jolandi
Liminal moments bring so many feelings; I can relate to your tiptoeing into and out of them!
I love the word “liminal”, Lex. I can remember a wonderful exhibition in Abu Dhabi where the artists explored liminal spaces. It was such an interesting experience to see these in-between moments interpreted by artists. – Jolandi
Those in-between moments are precious, more so for women, I think, because we’re so often expected to care for others and hold down the domestic fort. When I was a single mother with young children, I rarely had time to sit down and collect my thoughts or simply ease into my skin, as you so aptly put it. Now that the kids are all adults and I’m retired, I sometimes think I have too much free time—until I don’t, as social gatherings start to return and friends come calling. (And yes, I love that moment when I sit down with a fresh-brewed cup of coffee in the silence of the early morning. It’s one of those things I miss when there’s an extremely busy day that starts early and ends late.)
Anyway, I’m glad you’re able to savor those precious moments in the countryside! I hope you have many more once the house is finally completed and your routine is established.
That is so true, and thank you, Hangaku. Like you, I also miss the simple pleasure of silence and coffee in the morning, when I have to rush off somewhere. I so appreciate the days I can start slowly. Here’s to many more beautiful mornings to enjoy those in-between moments for both of us. – Jolandi