“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”
– Michael Jordan
Between the realisation that the heating system being installed wasn’t going to do what we thought it would (unless we spend another couple thousand euros), and the Architect’s eventual response to my many messages informing us that the size of the room that was built to accommodate the water tank for the heating system meant new studies will have to be done and plans handed in at the municipality at an extra cost, our frustration and stress levels reached fever pitch. Michael and I are not always in agreement as to how we should approach certain challenges, which tend to add another layer of emotional turmoil.
Recently a German friend remarked on how it seems that the harder one pushes in Portugal for things to get done, the less actually gets done. It is only by stepping back, calming down, and allowing the work/process to unfold at the pace life has, and perhaps always will, in Portugal that things get done.
We have been reminded again and again, since we’ve purchased the land three years ago that we need a super human amount of patience, and although the work on the house is almost done, it isn’t yet, and our goal of getting our habitation licence sorted out is still just a mirage hovering tantalisingly on the horison.
No problem seems to be insolvable in Portugal, though, it just means one has to throw more money at it to eventually disappear, and so, amidst all the frustrations and extra costs it is a blessing that Michael is still earning a salary, which allows us to at least absorb the various unexpected blows no matter how inconvenient or sometimes downright painful they are.
To add to these challenges my appointment at immigration was moved to 10 February, as 30 November, the day it was originally scheduled for, fell within a long weekend, which, with Covid-19 restrictions, meant that they were closed on that day. On the bright side I managed to reschedule my accommodation booking in Lisbon, but it also means that I will be paying more for the apartment, because of the time of the year. In this way the blessings and frustrations are continuously being wrapped in a tight embrace.
I hope that next year (or if I’m really lucky even later this season) I’ll be able to write a post titled ‘Winter Joys’. For now, I simply have to accept that my first winter here is laced with frustrations and challenges (not to mention getting used to cold), which, like the inevitable change of seasons, will also come to an end.
Portuguese Words:
inverno – winter
dinheiro – money
desafio(s) – challenge(s)
frustração (frustrações) – frustration(s)
bênção(s) – blessing(s)
Written by: Jolandi
Well, here’s what I saw: that frosty barbed wire in the opening shots (gorgeous, by the way) gave way to cheerful yellow plants and rays of sunshine in the later ones … here’s hoping your progress shows similar signs of improvement! (This silly observation does not discount your frustrations, which must be many. I know I would be feeling very stressed, and I also have a deep understanding of spouses having different approaches to problems!)
Well, let’s see what this week holds, Lexie. Despite the various frustrations things are mostly moving forward, even though at times at a snail’s pace. I just cannot believe how long certain things take, or that there are obstacles where there just shouldn’t be ones. Some days are definitely more challenging than others, but I’m mostly fine, so that is another blessing. Having a regular yoga practice definitely helps a lot.
I’m glad you like the barbed wire shots – I must admit that I did choose the pictures carefully to show that I’m still hopeful that everything will work out fine in the end. – Jolandi
Always frustrating in a different country as we get used to the different ways of doing something..;-)
Definitely is, Lisa. 🙂 And in the end, I trust, everything will work out perfectly. All part of the adventure in the end. – Jolandi
“blessings and frustrations are continuously being wrapped in a tight embrace”
What a beautiful bittersweet phrase to describe this season of life for so many.
I got all churned in my stomach because there’s really nothing worse than doing a job then having to redo. Ugh. I’m so sorry but that perseverance produces character truth is just that.
God bless you as you navigate. Praying for peace and unity in the decision-making, which can be the hardest part.
You are so right that life is really tough for so many people right now, Sarah.
Thank you for your kind words and prayers. I need them at the moment. It really is also a lesson in understanding how much one can do until it is best to let go, and trust that it will all be fine in the end. Now if I can just do that without the knot in my stomach, which tends to wake me up in the early hours of the morning! 😉 – Jolandi
The photos are beautiful. Amidst the frost I see new life. The photos are beautiful and the land looks peaceful and quiet in the middle of the world not being a very safe place right now. I am assuming you are not staying on the land through the winter? Where ever you are, breathe and find the joy although at times life is frustrating and our patience are paper thin.
Happy Holidays,
Terri
That is so true, Terri, about life being frustrating and our patience paper thin. Such a good way to describe it.
I will be on the land right through winter, so it will be interesting to see what it’s like. We’ve been told that December and January are the coldest months, but I would assume that February will also still be quite cold. Michael will hopefully be able to visit sometime in January/February, but it is almost impossible these days to make plans long in advance.
This part of Portugal receive winter rain, so there is a green tinge that is becoming more pronounced every day, which I love.
Happy holidays to you too. – Jolandi
What a frustrating time you are having, Jolandi! In a country like Portugal where life usually goes at a gentle pace, Covid 19 must be causing many more delays with people off sick and/or isolating, for instance.
Architects are notoriously difficult to pin down and often have their own agenda which is usually different to yours. Patience and persistence is the key, as you have found.
I am sorry you have problems with the new heating system; I hope you eventually get what you need without spending a fortune!
I love all your frosty pictures and that little toadstool in amongst the moss and lichen is wonderful!
Unfortunately we are spending a fortune on the heating system, Clare, but from Michael’s research, with the added heatpump, it should be very efficient in the long run. And what we are spending is the normal price, so although it was a shock to us, it at least insn’t that we are being ripped off. So that is a blessing wrapped up in shock and frustration. 😉
We’ve trusted the Architect completely from the beginning, as he is the one who knows which licences are needed and which procedures need to be followed, but to pin him down at the moment and finalise the whole process is a bit of a challenge. Not sure why. I’ve been promised that he will set a meeting for later this week. Let’s see what happens then. Deep breaths!
I love that picture too, Clare. It was so cold that morning, and my fingers eventually felt like they were going to drop off, but it was such fun to find different interesting compositions to capture the cold. – Jolandi
Hi,
Very nice post as usual.
The way of doing things in Portugal might seem impenetrable to most foreigners at first, but it should not be that much different from what you experienced when you first came to the UAE, right?
I bet you will soon adjust your expectations to the local ways and then life will become a lot less stressful.
The pictures of the frosted land look awesome. I really miss the European distinct four seasons instead of the UAE two-season yearly pattern (summer/hell).
Enjoy the land, the season and the local culture.
Best regards.
Alex
You are so right about that, Alex. The way things are done in any culture seem initially impenetrable when one first encounters it. No matter where one relocates to, there will always be challenges and stressful moments. I do think it is important to point these out, as so often we tend to edit our lives and experiences to such an extent that we only focus on the things that go right, instead of allowing a more realistic view of what the experience is like.
Yip, I definitely think four distinct seasons are much more interesting than the UAE two-season pattern, which like you point out, really only changes from summer to hell. 🙂 I hope you are enjoying every moment of winter in the UAE. Those frosty mornings here, although freezing, really do allow for gorgeous photo opportunities. I also quite like it when the landscape is blanketed in mist. – Jolandi
Hello my friend,
Much has already been said through the many thoughtful comments. I am very glad that despite the many (many) challenges, both of you remain in good health. This has been an unprecedented year worldwide, and I hope things will run smoother in the upcoming weeks and months ahead.
Sending you both our best wishes always. Stay safe!
Thank you, Takami. Yes, life is complicated and full of ups and downs, but this year has added an extra layer of discomfort and stress for all of us. We are very grateful that we are healthy and able to bring our dream into reality despite the challenges. Sending you best wishes too. – Jolandi
I can’t imagine, and yet, I can. 😛 It’s tough, but that bit you said about letting things unfold in their own time in Portugal reminded me of living here. It’s hard to be patient, if you’re a doer, and then there’s the language barrier, and waiting for the great unknown to see how it plays out. An extra dose of Stoicism or Zen philosophy might be in order… I’ve been thinking of looking up a daily Stoic reminder myself.
xxoo
You know, although the tiny details may differ, moving to another country is something we, who have done so, can all relate to in one way or another, Lani. I think you are spot on with suggesting an extra dose of Stoicism or Zen philosophy. X – Jolandi
Pretty photos: I suppose they give a “glass half full” aspect to all you’re going through. I will say that remodeling an old house is a pain, no matter where you live or what you’re trying to do with it. We didn’t have to file environmental impact reports when we rebuilt our 100-year-old farmhouse, thank goodness, but the number of obstacles to doing something as basic as putting in new wiring (for example) almost left me hysterical and close to leaving my “I have a great idea!” husband. We did most of the work ourselves, which added another stressor to an already complicated project. I hope the winter in Portugal is relatively mild and you have running hot water to get you through the frosty nights. (A hot bath is amazingly restorative.) Also, never underestimate the healing properties of good wine. Salud!
Yip, I guess no matter what, Hangaku, the glass is alway half full for me, never half empty. That is the only way, not just to survive renovation projects or moving to another country, but to navigate life with less emotional turmoil too. Perhaps one would only ever attempt one renovation project per lifetime! 😉
At this point of time I’m still dreaming of a hot shower – until the heat pump is installed, they are just sort of warm. At least not cold. Warm baths are things I can only dream of, as we wanted a walk in shower (not those in a bath), and in our tiny house there wasn’t space for a bath too.
As for the healing properties of good wine . . . I cannot agree more. Saúde! 🙂 – Jolandi